Pinoy Kasi : ET takes the LRT
Michael Tan opinion@inquirer.com.ph
Inquirer News Service
IF other planets had intelligent life, they'd be producing anthropologists too. And if one of those alien anthropologists ever landed on Earth and checked with me on how they could quickly gain insights into a country's society and culture, I'd tell them to check out their metros, or urban rapid mass transit systems.
Let's imagine now one of these extraterrestrial (ET) anthropologists from the planetoid Quaoar (that's close to Pluto) landing on Earth. Courtesy of a transponder, she (female anthropologists are always bolder and more insightful) becomes one of us, taking every metro on earth, the "REC" button, built into her brain's frontal lobe, busily recording everything, including her thoughts on what she sees.
Let's imagine, too, having access to the notes from one such anthropologist recounting her visits to different cities on our planet, including Manila.
Political will
Earthlings, and especially Filipinos, like to use a term called "political will," which can be loosely defined as the determination of governments to do some good for their people. It's something difficult to measure, but I'm convinced now that a country's mass rapid transits -- whether they're present or not, how many there are, how much they cost, and the conditions they're in -- can be infallible indicators of political will.
Our data banks show that the most developed countries on Earth have such systems. These systems rapidly transport hundreds and thousands of people each day from their homes to their destinations: their workplaces, schools, places of worship, as well as parks, theaters and other recreational areas. The rapid transport allows people to arrive at their destinations fresh and alert and of positive and cheerful spirit.
The best part about rapid mass transit systems is the way they help to preserve the environment. Some developed countries, like the United States, still prefer individual transport vehicles, which means paying a heavy price in terms of their dependence on processed fossil fuels from Earth. These fuels are processed into something called gasoline to run their vehicles. Although the US produces its own gasoline, its demands are so heavy it still has to import the fuels. So precarious is its dependence on a particular region on earth that it has to go to war to keep its access open to these countries. Then, too, gasoline is a major source of pollutants with serious effects on earthling health.
In so many words then, mass transit systems tell us about how governments care about people's welfare, as well as their concern about preserving environmental integrity. The political will seems to have been exerted quite early in some countries: the London Underground, for example, was inaugurated way back in 1863.
Tale of two transit systems
So what does Manila's mass transit system tell us about their leaders?
Manila and the Philippines seem to have followed the lead of their former colonial master, the United States, with little effort to develop rapid mass transit. There are thousands of private vehicles, owned mainly by the rich and the middle class, but most Filipinos have to rely on a mass transit system consisting of dilapidated buses, usually passed on after use in Japan, and jeepneys, which used to be hailed as mobile works of art but are now drab smoke-belchers using low-grade processed fossil fuel called diesel.
Both bus and jeepney drivers are themselves worthy of study. My chemical scanner kept registering extremely high levels of lead in their brains, obviously coming from the fossil fuels. The lead impairs their intellectual capacities; even worse, many of them seem to be powered by a crystalline substance called "shabu," which keeps them awake, alert and unduly aggressive. Trips on these shabu-powered jeeps and buses can be major ordeals, passengers arriving at their destinations looking like survivors of a major inter-galactic battle.
A cleaner and more efficient mass transit system is being developed in Manila. A Light Rail Transit (LRT) was inaugurated in 1984, followed years later, in 1999, by a Metro Rail Transit (MRT). The two systems total 37 kilometers and were built over more than 20 years, certainly a revealing indicator of political will.
I've taken several trips on the two metro systems and I can say it's like visiting two countries. The MRT runs through a more modern part of the city, with an upper-middle class clientele. The trains can become quite crowded at certain hours but trips are generally quiet and uneventful, passengers wrapped in their own worlds with personal sound systems called MP3 players.
The older LRT runs through a run-down part of the metropolis. The trains are falling part, maintenance neglected perhaps because it caters mainly to a lower-middle class stratum. The ordeal starts even when purchasing tickets, with long queues and people constantly trying to break into the lines while other irate commuters scream expletives in protest.
Asses
Many LRT commuters have to take the jeepney or bus before getting on the trains, and it is clear the high levels of lead in their brains have affected them -- they seem unable to understand what it takes to board a train. Every train that arrives sets off a stampede, with commuters trying to squeeze in even when it's obvious there's no more space. Once, I saw the train doors suddenly shutting with a commuter's bag caught in between. Electronic sensors automatically reopened the door, giving the commuter a chance to pull her bag back ... but in the process, three more lead-poisoned earthlings tried to jump onto the train.
Trips on the LRT are tense. I was warned not just to watch my belongings but also my ass, an English slang term for the rear part of earthling bodies. The LRT stations do have a special section for females to board but all genders eventually end up on the same train, subject to the same risks of having their asses picked or pinched.
Asses are frequently on Filipinos' minds these days. One of their newspapers recently had a front-page headline about something called the Con-Ass, accompanied by the picture of someone's behind, but I am told the Con-Ass is a different matter, that it is meant to be a grand Convention of Asses. Here, ass is used as a Filipino term of endearment for politicians, yes, the ones who exert political will and decide on mass transit systems.
But I digress, and my friend Mike Tan is complaining that this column is getting much too long. I will try to write again some time. Now I must beam myself back to Quaoar, where, I have to say, we never had metros. Alas, and this is fair warning to Filipinos, we insisted on an equivalent of your SUVs; alas, we too were governed by Asses, who ended up destroying our planet. Which is why we anthropologists are scouring the galaxies now for guidance from intelligent, even if lead-poisoned, forms of life.
